How to have a Better Marriage Part 1

Marriage is a biblical concept and while other beliefs and cultures value similar arrangements, as Christians we have a powerful advantage in order to make our marriages happy, enduring and a testimony to the power of the Lord. Why then do Christians share the same divorce rate as the rest of the world?

Many marriages are like the South Indian medi-pandu fruit; like a delicious strawberry outwardly but full of worms inside! During the so-called Cold War period we learned that the standoff between nations was called ‘détente’. Some marriages are in this state; both partners acknowledge there is a problem but don’t find the time or opportunity to fix it. In reality they don’t know how to fix it.

NAC, the old airline of NZ never ever had any ‘prangs’ simply because they stuck to ‘the book’ in everything they did. John 8:31-32: “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples; then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." We Christians also have a book, so why so many prangs?

An example is seen in worry over finances that ignore the fact that money comes from the Lord, not just our work. We must put Him first as Psalm 127:1-2 advise: “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builder’s labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-- for He grants sleep to those he loves.”

When you have nothing to give of your own resources, things just work fine. CP. The fate of 250 remaining prisoners in Tasmania (then a regular Hell-hole!): Two shiploads of common working girls were sent from England by the government of the day. The prisoners were lined up as were the girls, hosed down, dressed then told to run and grab a girl (no time for decisions!). A mass wedding ceremony was read and each couple given a cottage, some money and a job. These marriages were better than 98% successful. Rather like the success of arranged marriages among the poor of India. Contrast that with the difficulty of finding Mr. and Mrs. “Right” nowadays.

How do we begin to restore the correct concept of marriage? Matthew 7:24 advises us to build our house on the Rock because problems will come; not ‘might’ come. Marriage is one such ‘foundation’ designed for the survival of relationships. Sadly because marriage has sunk to the status of mere tradition, it has become little bits of rock which is sand. Prone to liquefaction! We Christians have contributed to this sad state of affairs by expecting the ungodly to take on our beliefs; we have watered down the meaning of marriage to accommodate unbelievers.

We need to re-train believers in what marriage is: It is a concept intended to express lasting values not just traditional values. These values are reflected by Jesus Christ in his attitude toward us: Quality relationships, mutual respect, tolerance, loyalty, true romance that endures etc. These are not Victorian values from a bygone so-called romantic era! They are current values that work in the 21^st Century.

Perhaps we could start by not trying to please the non-christian public by conducting so-called Christian ceremonies to make them feel good. We could tell them the truth that Christian marriage only works, if you are a Christian. Likewise Christian funerals are no use for non-Christians.