WO-man! In Hebrew means “out of man” and so, complementary to man; not different to man but refined dust; the differences are sex based.
The first command given to man is “be fruitful!” (Genesis 1:28.) Using the theological “law of first reference,” it means “no limitations.” God introduced woman to the man with a command to multiply. This is a holy and righteous thing; no laws and no shame. Eden was a place of beauty and glory and we see that Adam “knew” his wife. This profound Hebrew word ‘Yada’ means to know completely and intimately. They were one flesh. Yes, Proverbs 5:21 “..a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all his paths.” God approved.
The bible acknowledges the ‘pressures’ 1 Corinthians 7:9: “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 1 Corinthians 7:2-5: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
The last 65 years have been a major test for marriages: We live longer; men don’t go off for long periods of time to war or such adventures; we live in a pressure-cooker environment; there is no “confinement” for pregnancy; contraception and abortion are major issues and so forth. All this is mostly unprecedented in history so we have had no examples as a reference point.
Since we are more able to address these subjects, we can make observations that affect our understanding at a much deeper level. We realize that a healthy relationship is based on much more than an act of perfect physical satisfaction. The Russians experimented in a range of metaphysical subjects during the Cold War thinking they could gain supremacy: Thought transference was a favorite topic for them and during this process, they discovered some facts about intimate relationships: In the act of mutual sexual engagement some kind of transference of a person’s self took place. It actually registered on their equipment! This came to be known as “soul transference.” Once you give this part of yourself, it is gone forever. So if you do not share your life with that person, it would seem there is something missing..an emptiness. Adultery empties your soul.
There is a natural sanctity associated with sex that is not dependant on a person’s relationship to God. The inference being that sex is spiritual and creates a heightened awareness of things spiritual. From a man’s point of view there is recognition of the spirituality of sex but women have a difficult time believing that men actually think like that. Men have a constant drive: Every 2-3 days the prostate is fully charged and ready to go! In younger days there are between 12 and 22 erections per night! A side effect is aggression and leadership which is ego-based so can be easily broken or crushed by an insensitive wife. A smart wife will channel this drive to greater things.
Men give love to get sex. This is normal but the mistaken idea many hold due to religious and traditional superstitions is that’s all men want. In reality they want to love and be loved and not viewed as a “one way street!” Further to this, to maintain a healthy self esteem there must be no system of “reward”. Author Tim La Haye said: “if you have a Cadillac in the garage you don’t feel tempted to steal a Volkswagen off the street.” Sexual satisfaction for a man brings contentment and a better work attitude leading to greater success. Less time is spent utilizing peripheral vision!
Women on the other hand give sex to get love but need much more time to warm up. The old concept of demanding “rights” which is a redneck attitude needs be exposed along with calling your wife “mum!” Attitudes like these contribute to frigidity. The antidote is clear: Ephesians 5:28: “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Conversely a man, who does not demonstrate considerate love, has self image problems and does not love himself.
A holistic approach to lovemaking is needed from men: Set the scene! (A steak meal with candles is not always best!) Mood, Tenderness, care, privacy, respect, patience and above all use words. Men also need to affirm their wives as good lovers but take care to be consistent. If you say “darling you are good in bed but lousy in the kitchen..” get ready to live in a monastery!
Women “glow” when things are good at home. They advertise their successful marriage. Things are in order: Companionship, compassion, affection, romance (chocolate) and passion.
Sex is central to good relationships between husband and wife. It has intrinsically selfish aspects that can only satisfactorily be achieved by being unselfish. Obviously if there is selfishness, God is the missing dimension. When you are “right with God” your love relationship is greatly enhanced.
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